The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke: I just can’t seem to get it together. Maybe if I had one more chance.

Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei: Here, have another chance.

Mickey Rourke: Nah, I’m good.

THE END

Yes Man

Movie Studio: Hey Jim Carrey, do you want to make a movie where you say, “yes” to everything?

Jim Carrey: Yes.

Movie Studio: Do you want to accept a pay deal where you’ll only get paid if the movie makes a certain profit? Keep in mind, this is probably the worst possible pay deal you can negotiate. Is it cool with you?

Jim Carrey: …yes?

Movie Studio: Attaboy.

THE END

Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Z and M M a P.

THE END

I think for the first time in my life...I am listening to more "real" music than showtunes. 

It seems all I've listened to in the past few months is Guster and My Chemical Romance. Just recently I've started digging into Jeff Buckley and The Frames. 

I am fascinated by this change. I used to listen exclusively to showtunes with one guster cd and a few spare songs to mix it up. Now I'm cycling through five Guster cds, two MCR cds, two Frames cds and Jeff Buckley's first album. I think it has to do with my Hamlet rock musical I'm working on. It's been on my mind recently and I've finally been able to look at it again and start tweaking. Some of the songs are really starting to come together. I think I'm addicted to artistic expression. I won't be able to do a show until at least the fall, so as soon as my mind has nothing to do, little lyric nuggets just come out and I have to tetris them in to the songs. I'm enjoying myself.

Two things have crossed my mind lately. Make no mistake about it, I want the best and more for my friends. But as the saying goes, "Champagne for my my real friends, real pain for my sham friends." 

In other words, I wonder if I'm just preparing for my audition for Othello this fall when I take as much pleasure as I do in the failures of those who in my eyes deserve it.  

The other thing I've been pondering lately is the reason I am using Livejournal now. I think one of the reasons I've shyed away from Livejournal/Xanga/blogs/myspace/etc...is the manipulative nature of it all. I'm sure that isn't what springs to everyone's mind, but let me play the scenario out:

Let's say I looked to see what other groups of people liked acting and started talking to someone. We shall call them Dasani because there is a water bottle of that name in eyesight. Dasani and I chat back and forth and we become internet friends. 

Now who is to say that a single thing that we tell each other is true? People can lie in real life of course, but if you live and hang out out near a group of people, the types of lies vary slightly into a situation where you can more easily be caught. On livejournal however, if I'm never going to meet Dasani, I could tell them all kinds of crap and they'd be none the wiser. If they lived in Nebraska, I could tell them I had gotten my big break and had gotten a part in a Broadway show or something of that nature. That is only one example however, since the only people that would really lie about something like that are people who 

A. Never get cast

B. Like the attention

C. Are serial killers who are going to convince Dasani to come to New York to see them in a show and and then kill them and wear their skin. Or something.

A more likely lie has something to do with relationships. They could be boasts of sexual prowess from virgins or attempts to save face in a breakup. 

Unlikely scenario: Poland Springs and I reeaaaallly hit it off and we start dating. After an unspecified amount of time, the relationship sours and she breaks up with me. Now let's say I have a livejournal and Poland Springs does not. I could reach out to any stranger, let's say Dasani, and talk about how this bitch Poland Springs cheated on me even if nothing of the sort had happened. I now have the sympathy of Dasani, who in turn would hate Poland Springs, who she doesn't even know. Does this seem fair? True this thing can happen by word of mouth, but it just doesn't have the same impact  and scope as the internet nowadays. It can also be done by editing your posts. For example, notice this imaginary conversation in it's first post and it's edited post:

Milk_and_vodka: Man do I love candy! Lolz! Who else loves candy?!?!
Poland Springs: LOL, I totally do. I'm craving some right now. HA!
Milk_and_vodka: WOW, we are just totally on the same page!
Poland Springs: Yeah, it's great to find people with common interests, ya know?

Milk_and_vodka: Man do I hate cheating bitches who suck random cocks. Anyone out there do this?
Poland Springs: LOL, I totally do. I'm craving some right now. HA!
Milk_and_vodka: Wow, you are a whore. What, do you troll streets late at night with your mouth open?
Poland Springs: Yeah, it's great to find people with common interests, ya know?

Sidenote: The unlikely scenario described above is not unlikely soley because of the scenario itself, nor my involvment in it, necessarily. What is unlikely about it is that I would date someone Polish. 

Just kidding, I just wouldn't date or befriend a water bottle. After all I'm insane, not...whatever's worse than insane.

Anywho, whether or not an innocent party has a blog, it still seems ridiculous that an ex can make up piles of undisputed bullshit which is taken as truth on their own little blogosphere. I know this from past personal experience. My crazy-shitballs-insane ex Alyssa (I guess I just found out what's worse than insane) started posting shit about me after I broke up with her in high school about how I had been apparently cheating on her. I found this out from a random classmate who said that a little bird told her I was dating my friend Jess, which made about as much since as a little bird telling someone I would be at church next Sunday delivering the sermon. Anyway, according to Alyssa's Xanga (little bird), I had been apparently seeing Jess and Alyssa couldn't belive I would do such a thing to her...blah blah blah lies bullshit bullshit. WHO THE FUCK CARES? I've been cheated on and you don't see me proclaiming it like it's going to win me a car. It's my life, my past, my burden, and on top of all that, it actually happened. What a novel concept that someone who says they've been cheated on has actually been cheated on.

I think in the end it strikes me how amazing it is that no one today ever wants to find out both sides of the story. People need to just ask for themselves sometimes. I have close friends who feel not coming to me directly and instead complaining to Lacey or Heather is the right way to go. What are they thinking? Either way I'm going to find out you've got some problem with me. You can either pussyfoot about it in my general direction, or you can come straight up and ask me. Your choice. I wonder if he thinks I wouldn't be his friend anymore if he told me what was bothering him, which is a ridiculous but possible answer.

A few other things that bothered me about all these blogs and livejournals. 

One: Vague posts that don't mention people by name and just say things like "I can't believe they betrayed my trust like this and it will be a long time before I can trust them again. Please, nobody ask me about what's going on. I don't want to talk about it." Then don't freakin' post about it. It's like telling someone the start of a joke and right when you get to the punchline going, "Well...maybe I shouldn't tell you." ARRGH

In lieu of that, Dusty. Dusty is the name of the person who is incapable of facing me. My roommate and friend...Dusty. (EDIT: Dusty and I have finally sorted out what the problem was. BIG case of lack of communication. 100% fixed now and our friendship is much stronger than before. Thumbs up!)

Of course I won't always name names. I made it clear in my last post that those that remain living as some cruel joke on humankind shall be referred to by nicknames so as not to recieve the pleasure of being villianized (who doesn't enjoy that?) but also so I don't break my own rules. I may think someone is a complete ass but I'm not going to go to their page to chew them out. That is their own private area, and I'm not going to go anywhere unless I'm invited first. Only fair.  



Two: Friends Only Posts. Anything that I say, I have no problem with anyone else hearing. I have nothing to hide and making posts only readable to friends or to myself says I do. Speaking of, if I'm going to make a post that only I can read, I might as well just start keeping a regular journal on paper. I know that concept seems ridiculous to anyone using livejournal, but the forgotten art form of pen and paper does live on in some areas.

Am I a hypocrite? I suppose I am to a certain extent since I'm using Livejournal despite my detractions. But hey, maybe I don't really believe anything I just wrote. 

After all, how would you know?

mood: satisfied